Girls Night, Impromptu April 15, 2010

Been doing movie nights with my girlfriends once a month for the past few months. It’s been great to spend time with them and watch movies together. Sometimes we go to a movie but mostly it’s just at Lisa’s house. Well, being sans husband this week, I realized I could host without imposing on his space and called an impromptu gathering. Two made it.  We caught up on each other’s lives, shared a few juicy pages of our former lives and watched The Karate Kid. Simple, good time spent with women I admire and love. Can’t think of a better way to spend a Thursday….and the line from the movie that made us all laugh:

 ”To make honey you need young bee. Young bee needs young flower. Don’t make honey spending time with old prune.”  Mr. Miagi to Daniel-son.  It’s still a pretty good movie all things considered.

Screaming Out Loud April 14, 2010

Housekeeping. Yes, I know. I’m not very good at daily entries.

Woke up after a short night of sleep and shuffled into the kitchen. The coffee pot happens to be by the kitchen window and is the first thing I try to see clearly in the morning. I was interrupted in this pursuit when I heard myself yelling…NO! NO! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!!!! Realizing too late that I was the one making that noise and the boys were looking at me funny, I had turned to explain. Before I could, David does the same thing. The snow got us. We are both ready to ride our bikes full-time.

Later, I start cleaning out the garage and organizing the 3ft pile of miscellany near the door. Well,  I’m vacuuming with my trusty shop vac and I turn to go over this spot I’d just cleared and there it was again: a classic horror movie scream coming out of my mouth. Then of course, I laugh at myself for being so silly. Lucas comes running to the door wondering what was up. I shoo him away.  It’s only a very large, very dead shrew on the ground. I knew I’d been smelling something the last few weeks and even hunted around for one and couldn’t locate, so thought I was just being weird. No. I muster up a piece of cardboard to flick it into the trash and its really dead. Like semi-solid dead. Oh, except when I turn it over and six little beetles crawl out of it’s mauled belly. Nice.  Good times.  I heart my shop vac though; sucked those beetles right up. Yeehaw!

Day Three: Mini-OCD Me April 12, 2010

Housekeeping:  Okay, yesterday I worked from 9pm-1am, so, anticipating that, on Saturday I put an entry on the Reckoning page that I’m counting as Day 2. 

So, one thing most folks don’t know about me is that I can be a bit obsessive and even a bit compulsive. I don’t believe I’m “clinical” in this regard, but it does affect my daily living to some degree.  I used to have a thing about my alarm clock: had to check it at least 4-5 times every night to make sure it was set correctly, and that the alarm was on. Some nights, because I knew, knew it was set, I’d hold myself back from checking one last time so Kiel could go to sleep. Not having a 9-5 job took that problem away, much to my relief. 

It’s unfortunately been replaced with the garage door. Most days, I start thinking about it about a block away from home. “Did I shut it? I can’t remember putting my hand on my visor? Did I see it go down; did the button work? What if something blocked the sensor after I looked away? I wont be home for three hours, I should go back and make sure….”  I’ve had that convo so many times in my head it’s not even funny. At least twice a week I turn the car around to make sure. One time in five years has it actually been open. One time! 

I used to not worry about it-the turning around part. Now, with two sets of eyes on me, and two impressionable brains attached to those eyes, I’ve started to check myself more.  It’s hard.  I need the satisfaction of seeing the door closed.  It makes me feel better. I can go through the day without worry.  If I resist, I think about it for about an hour. It’s so hard to not turn around. I have a point on my route when I pass, then I absolutely will not go back home. That point makes it seem absurd. A block away, well, that’s just being responsible, right?  The problem is that the boys have noticed. I’ve had to talk about it with them. Mommy’s problem.  It goes something like this:

David groaning: “Mom, why are we turning around?”

“Um, well, you know, your mom, she just wants to make sure that she closed the garage door.”

“I think you did.”  or  “Again?”

“Yes, again. Mom just needs to know. She didn’t look. We’ll be gone for a long time and the pipes will freeze. Or: People will take our stuff. Or: I just need to make sure.” 

“Okay, Mom.”  or sometimes if I’m lucky, “Okay mom, you’re silly!”

“Yeah, I know. I’m silly.”

The thing is, I don’t want them thinking that it’s normal to always be checking, to be anxious like that. I also don’t want them thinking their mom is seriously loony either.  I worry about the example I’m setting.  I’ve admitted to them that my behavior isn’t quite normal and that it’s something I’m working on.  I’ve tried all kinds of things: like waiting in the driveway, or resisting the urge, or even faking that I forgot something, (yes, that’s really bad, I know). They all work for a while. I’m not consistent enough to break the cycle. Recently, I’ve begun saying:  “I’m shutting the garage door!”  This makes the kids laugh and settles my head that it has been done.  This one seems to work the best.  I’m going to stick with it.  I didn’t today and was a bit embarrassed as the mailman, who I know, watched me do my car jig. He even waived. That was soooo nice of him.  I’m hoping writing about it will flip something in my head as well.  It seems so ridiculous and time-consuming.   I’ll let you know how it goes, cuz it’s really got to go….

Day One: Quality Time April 10, 2010

Life has been busy here in the Schweizer household. Kiel is working four evenings a week between UAA, ASD, and a private student, and I’ve seen a doubling of my paid work too. David is moving right along at school, and Lucas, well, he keeps you busy all the time.  So, today, after I had my bit of PT (personal time) I came home, hung out for a bit with the fam, and then to give Kiel some space, took the boys to the library. We never go on Saturday’s so it made the trip a little more fun. Since there was no story time, we were able to just relax and look at books, pick out our popcorn night kid’s movie, and play with the puzzles. It was really nice to go without clock deadlines to meet. Then we came home, hunkered down on the family room sofa, pulled up a blanket, and read four of our new books for almost 40 minutes. It made me realize how long it had been since I’d done that with the boys. It was lovely.

Afterwards, we went upstairs to make dinner.  For the first time in a long time when I asked them to help put dishes away, there were no complaints. They helped, and did a great job. Then, I even got them to pick up Lego’s and trains before bringing out the bingo game, which they played just the two of them, without arguing over anything. It was a good reminder that a half an hour of my undivided attention pays huge dividends in their temperament, and mine.  I needed their help (and their soft bodies cuddled next to mine). They needed me to be with them. We all came out ahead in heart and house matters. Yay!

Fourteen Days and Counting April 10, 2010

It’s been a long while, I know. Life has seemed to get the better of me most days, and my tech time is either work related, or researching some thing (RV, tent, screen room, Lego toys, carrot cake, etc) on-line.  Admittedly, there is a fair amount of Facebook in there, and a tiny bit of Solitaire.  Mostly, I’ve had lots of things to write about and make excuses for why I don’t, when really, it’s just not something I’ve made a priority. So, here begins a test to see if I can do fourteen days of blogging.  I’m not promising anything profound, mind you, just simple thoughts hashed out between my heart and my fingertips.  Let me know how I’m doing now and then, okay?